A few days later we found out Ike had 2 masses in the upper right lobe of his lung. For 50 days nobody could diagnose him. Was it cancer? An infection? A parasite? Scar tissue? Every doctor was left baffled and Ike’s condition remained a mystery. He had multiple procedures: 2 CT Scans with contrast, PET scan, Bronchoscopy with biopsy, a needle biopsy and finally: VATS double resection surgery where they confirmed it was NOT malignant and removed 25% of his right lung. We had appointments with pulmonologists, oncologists, radiologists, infectious disease specialists and a cardio thoracic surgeon. Our emotions were all over the place. Our marriage was tried.

During the 7 weeks of darkness we were showered with so many droplets of light. Ike’s dad flew out twice. The best side effect of his trips to LA is, for the first time in our relationship, I feel a really strong bond with him. Steve’s, Ike’s dad, last visit was a complete surprise to all of us on surgery day. During this time my mom stayed with us for almost 2 weeks. She kept me moving and my mind occupied with crafts, activities, basically, anything to keep me moving and my mind occupied. She bought our groceries and cooked for us every night. She even left meals in the freezer for us! She was my emotional support when I needed to cry with someone. Ike’s sister left her young family at home and surprised her brother at our front door. Ike’s mom was here multiple times, too. She’s always a great support system and we always find time to have fun, as well. Our nieces and nephews, sisters and friends sent care packages that filled our hearts and stomachs. Ike’s uncle came and sat with me when I was scared and alone. We were flooded with messages, phone calls and emails encouraging us to keep moving. These droplets of light allowed us to see far enough into the darkness to know where to put our next step.

All of the above allows me to say how thankful I am for this trial in our lives. I’m glad it’s over. I’ve learned I am strong. I am a woman who can care for myself, and my partner, if that is what life throws at me. I can do really hard things. I will not buckle. I learned my husband is as strong as I thought him. I learned that no matter what that number shows when I check the joint, or personal account, that we are rich where it counts. We have each other. We have an incredible family. We have amazing friends. We are rich with God’s gifts and blessings. I’m not saying this is new, but I am saying that it is now in the foreground for me. It is tangible. I am able to tilt my head back, open my mouth and allow the rain to hit my tongue knowing it is droplets of light. Not a deluge that is going to drown me.